Lara challenges herself and gets into a headstand for the first time.

Tonight was a landmark in my yoga practise. I got into a headstand for the first time on my SECOND try. On my FIRST try I enthusiastically flung my sweaty legs into the air. While they made it up to my intended vertical position, my lower body then continued on, collapsing to the right of my Manduka Mat, legs flailing and knocking over the woman in the calm and steady headstand beside me. In the end we both ended up in a heap on our respective mats.

I was mortified. This woman is the yogini with the perfect full lotus I had admired in my last class. I was the newbie who only recently touched her toes without bending my knees. I apologized to sink back into child’s pose and lick my wounded ego.

After the class I turned to her to apologize once more. “Think nothing of it! Ask anyone, we’ve all been there!”, she said to me laughing. Feeling like she was someone that could understand, I explained this feeling that I've been having, like I am on the brink of being able to push to that next level in my practise, that I KNOW my body can do it but I just need that extra little support (and room around my mat) to get there.

The woman asked me if I wanted to try again with her help. I said “Yes!”

I set up my arms and placed my head in between them with my new yoga buddy standing by, ready to catch me. I raised my left leg, then right leg halfway up. Feeling confident, I slowly raised them up to vertical once more. I tried! I did it! It felt amazing to do something that had scared me! And I made a new yoga friend!

Tonight I was reminded to not be satisfied with things as they are. If I want to grow as a person, as a yogini, I need to take more risks. I will fall again when I try a headstand, once, twice, likely a whole lot more - but that’s ok. The worst thing that my mind could conceive of happening when I envisioned trying to do a headstand happened tonight. But instead of it being a bad thing, it opened up a door to an opportunity where I made a new friend that helped me to experience my yoga practice at a whole new level of engagement.

What are you afraid of doing? Who do you need to help you get to that next level?

Be the change. - Gandhi

When I decided to take my yoga teacher training I tried to put my expectations on a leash. I tried not to imagine all the wonderful changes that would occur; I tried not to focus on what a present, calm, ideal yogi I would become. I tried.

Expectations are the fastest way to set yourself up for disappointment. The path of yoga is not about what you were or what you will become; it's about being present in each moment. There's no easy path to become the person you aspire to be, but with a conscious mind and open heart you can learn to accept yourself as you are and let that love and acceptance help you grow.

I recently went for some spiritual counseling from a yogini. What struck me the most was learning that I don't need to "figure it all out". My dharma or duty was to simply bring gratitude and contentment into my daily life. It doesn't matter if I hit the mat every day (especially if I stress myself to get there). What matters most is taking the lessons I learn from yoga and applying them to my every day life off of the mat - to respect the earth, to remember that we are all one, to believe in my divinity and that of those around me, to be truthful, and to follow the Yamas (guidelines on how to treat others and interact with society) and Niyamas (guidelines on how to treat yourself).

Since that visit I have told myself daily what I am grateful for, even if all I can think of in that moment is remembering to be grateful in the first place. This small change has caused a ripple affect in my life. The veil of expectation has been lifted and I accept that I am exactly where I need to be in life in this very moment. I also accept that though I may forget from time to time - I am divine. We all are. It is simply our duty to remember.

Read about the great gratitude for yoga teachers like Jessika in our blog post My Love Affair with the Yoga Teachers of the World.